one thing Im proud to say I did right in my life is have kids because I wanted to. I was ready to be a mom, so if noting else,that I did right.
so when I found out my middle son had severe medical issues and would continue so through out is life, was I upset?? not really, shocked? yes, a little, would be lying if I said other wise, lets be honest, whe were an expecting parent, we all want healthy kids and plan for noting else,
but was I disapointed? NEVER!
I am my boys mother because I want to, not because I have no choice.
often I hear of cases were a mom or parents put their child in a om because tey do not want the responsibility of raising a child wit special needs, or maybe because they just don't have te know how, but what ever the reason it breaks my heart into pieces, was it that they didn't get what they ordered?? so the y go on to have other children, ones they were expecting to have all along.
Ewvery child no matter their condition deserves the love of their parents, after all, a child with special needs is still a child first!
Ive ad to learn alot over the years ow to take care of my son, it didn't come easy, but I did it because I want to , not because I had too, but the love I have for him is the easiest because I want to.
Ive had the advantage and privilege of learning from one of the best hostpitals in the world, one valuable ting Ive learned was suctioning,
they often suction kids in hostpital settings when the child is sick, to get up all the junk out of their chest they can't bring up on their own, this is not someting they recomended I do at home, but I learned how any way so I could do tis at home, not because I had to but besause I wanted to.
I wanted to give my son the best quality of life I could give im, and by helping im breath much easier was possible? I sure was going to do it, bacause I want to.
we are fortunate to have a pediatric team here locally to help guide through the everyday with my son and help where we may stumble, just to pick us back up and get us on track, we ask for their help and guidence not cause I have to , because I want to,
I want to give my son the biggest support team I can find, to encourage and always be on is side, because they want to.
my son requires 24/hr care, we ave little help at home with him im when it comes to respite, I chose to do most of it on my own, not because help is not available, but because I want to.
I want to make sure at all times he is properly taking care of, and treated well, because I want to.
when my son is sick and has to spend time in the hostpital ,I stay with him so he's not alone, and recieves the care he deserves at all times, I could leave im and pass im on tothe nurses and Doctors, but I chose to stay, not because I have to, but because I want to.
Nurses are may be school trained, Doctor trained, but they are not "mommy" trained.
there is alot of sleepless nights, but i get up with my son through the night every night, because I want to,
I want to kmow always that he is ok, and do what ever it takes to keep it ok. because I want to.
after many months of feeding challenges, we finally went ahead wit the feeding tube, not because we had to, because somewere inside I wanted to,
I wanted my son to stop getting sick all the time with phnemonia, and work hard to feed from a bottle, making his tube impossibley thick just he could swallow, it just ssemed cruel,I needed to take is pain away and make is life that much easier, no more struggle, not because I had to,
but because I wanted to.
I wanted to get to this point of him getting a feeding tube with no regrets,besause I wanted to.
after 18 months of my son continuing to throw up, and struggle to gain weight, we had the option of im getting a fundoplication, a opperation that would stop stuff from his belly make its way up his esophagus,
I chose to do it, not because I had to but because I wanted to.
the surgery was a success, my boy was getting sick less often and finally he was a healthy weight.
I chose to fight to keep my son alive when doctors told me it was a lost cause, and he wasn't going to pull through the night, I chose to continued to fight for im when they said, he's going to keep getting sick until he finally does die, I chose for im to live, not because I had to, because I wanted to.
my son, he continues to fight every day, some better then others, not because he has to, because he wants to, he has the will to live because I belive in him, because I want to ,
he's alive today not because he has to be,
because he wants to.
my boy is all he can be and because of im, im all I can be because together, we want to!
